Why I Use a Wheelchair (when I can walk)

I wouldn’t exactly call myself an ambulatory wheelchair user even though I can walk. I can walk with some confidence in my own home. I always have something I can hold on to. Even if I don’t use my sticks I will have a wall nearby. The floor has to be clear or I cannot walk across it. The smallest thing in my way can cause me to freeze on the spot.

I used to walk around places with my sticks while out. I can remember walking into the vets from the car and into family houses. But I can’t really walk far outside. Maybe a couple of metres and trust me, that’s not far.

I’ve tried other walking aids like rollators, and crutches. I even had a walker which I was able to sit on if I couldn’t walk any more. But getting up and down from the seat was just as tiring as walking.

I’ve just decided to get myself a slider chair for the kitchen. I have a chair but it doesn’t move and, as I’ve already said, getting up and down is tiring. A slider chair is on wheels so I’ll be able to move along the worktop to the cooker, and when I get the hang of it I may even be able to cross the kitchen floor.

When I first got sick and realised that my mobility was limited I was gifted a manual wheelchair. I didn’t think I’d be using it much but I could finally go out, so long as someone was pushing me. I hated hearing my husband huffing and puffing as he pushed me around and felt like I had no independence. I couldn’t wheel it myself for very long. Those chairs that people wheel themselves in are pretty expensive and I was sure I was going to get better.

So, I bought myself a second hand motorized wheelchair off Ebay for our first holiday while I was sick. It was great to be independent again, but it was difficult to get the hang of, and the battery kept running out on me meaning I was even heavier to push than before.

I saved up and crowd funded to buy a lighter weight wheelchair which was brand new. It worked much better and fitted in the car boot. By this time, my husband had learnt to drive so we were on the road again and needed something to fit in the car. To get it in he had to take it apart which was a pain, but it was a lot easier to control and the battery was better. This wheelchair lasted me around 3 years. Then I decided to get a new one.

It’s so hard to get a wheelchair that fits your needs. I wanted one that folded, that had big wheels so I could wheel myself if the battery ran out, something lightweight that was easy to lift, something that didn’t need taking apart to go in the boot of the car, something with a handle at the back so I could be pushed if needed, and an easy changeable battery.

There are wheelchairs that fit my criteria, if I had a spare eight grand hanging around!

I did find something, and it wasn’t really expensive. It didn’t have the big wheels but it had a handle at the back and it had two batteries so if one ran out you could swap it over. But, although it folded, it was still heavy and still a squeeze to fit in the boot. I can’t lift it myself, and even my eldest son has difficulty. I tried to get a taxi once and they refused to put it in the boot and told me I had to get a wheelchair accessible taxi.

Wheelchairs are not fun but at least I can get around. Without one I would be stuck at home all the time. I can’t even walk up my garden because grass is a no, no. My feet just can’t walk on grass. I can’t walk on sand either. I did try it a couple of times. I miss walking on the beach so much, but even with someone holding me it’s way too much effort for my brain and feet to co-operate.

My current chair is getting old and making noises, parts have fallen off and had to be screwed on. It’s uncomfortable and I’ve had to change the cushion. It’s not made to fit so I feel the strain in my knees and back. I always feel pain after spending any time out in my wheelchair. So, I’m now on the lookout for a new one. If only I had a few spare notes under my mattress.

I had hoped that one day I’d be able to walk again, and trust me, I’ve tried. I walk up and down my patio to prove to my brain I can walk outside. But it’s no good, even walking from the kitchen to the living room and back again wears me out. So, I though maybe I need more stamina and walked from the living room to the kitchen to and back again three times. I had to lie down for an hour and the pain was horrendous. I have to face the truth someday. This is it.

I use a wheelchair because I HAVE TO. But I can walk a little bit.

Here’s a photo of me in an older wheelchair that I used for the lovely Charlene from Sooper Books to make my profile picture.

This post was published first on my Substack where you can find my entire story of my disability and how it affect me. You can read all of my posts and subscribe if you want to get an e-mail when I publish something new.